Florien’s General Thoughts
Okay.
Okay.
If one more thing happens before I have the chance to reel myself back in, I fear I may snap. The tension feels taut, and a persistent migraine has started behind my missing eye. I really should have eaten more, but my stomach feels as though it has shrunken into the size of a coin. The pizza smelled enticing, but the thought of eating brought on a wave of nausea.
Everything irritates me. Voices are too loud, the clinking of cutlery, the sound of footsteps, chatter, gods, just make it all fucking stop for a moment. There’s a silver lining to it all, though. At least I’m hearing my friends’ voices once more. It feels like it’s been too long since we were all together.
… I need some silence. I need to catch my breath. If only I could simply hand it all back to Sariel, let that false nonchalance guide me through. Actually, should I trust myself for guidance? Or is that just the blind leading the blind? No offense—none taken too.
I wish there was a sign that whatever it is I’m doing is the right choice. For Waterdeep, for my friends, for myself. My family too. Even after all this time, I want things to work between us all. If the Wolfric family were to lose everything, that would break mother’s heart. Faust has worked so hard, and Faith—she’s always wanted more. I cannot be the reason this all falls.
Fucked if I had stayed, and fucked because I left. Sorry for my language, Father.
The wagon driver’s voice only exacerbates my migraine. Silence would be such a good spell to have. Deep breaths, Florien. Even if every single breath feels like poison right now.
If I could just talk to someone who knows what to do… I’m a warlock, aren’t I? Kerrick’s patron is a murderous oddity, still never got an answer to that. Who exactly is mine? Just talk to me, send me a sign, whoever you are.
Please.
Florien’s Thoughts on the group
Adam/Tarvo
You were there the whole time? You heard everything, every part of a conversation I never wanted anyone else to know about. A part of me is relieved, but the other part fears what you think. You knew close to nothing about me, and now you know more than anyone else in this group does. More than even Rona.
I wonder what you think. Is this anything you expected?
Now you work for him too. You made a deal with my brother, the Butcher. He wants me to stick to my word, follow through with my agreement. I never planned to break that deal, even if I regret it with every damn second.
Kerrick
That time in Mere, when you snapped and wrecked those crates. I remember being afraid of you, wondering how a man who seemed so patient and understanding of everyone could be pushed to that state.
I get it now, Kerrick. I feel like I want to break something, but even then I don’t know if that would help. It wouldn’t solve any of my problems.
You have so much distrust in me. I have no one to blame but my own actions. I wish I could deflect, but even my doubts about you pale in comparison to how much I wish to trust you. I never sought out an audience with Faust, but things spiralled one after another and I made a choice out of desperation. Something tells me you know what that feels like too.
You were right. We need to stay together as a group. Maybe some day I can earn everyone’s trust again.
Rona
I see it on your face. Disappointment, frustration, a lot of justified anger, I’m sure. But it’s good to see you again. I much prefer your wrath over the wrath of my family.
You said that secrets are always dangerous. I have so many. It overflows at times, things I wish I could say, things I want to share. You insist that the party wants me—Florien Wolfric. You think that’s not what I want too? I want to be myself. But I cannot be. You should know what that feels like. Your new clothes, that new look—are you even happy? Was that of your own choice?
I hear your tone too. We can all pretend to be Faust, that’s a fun game.
Really, Rona?
I had to bite my own tongue, before I said anything I regretted. I’d rather not say something out of spite.
I know that I’ve hurt you with my own choice. Faust is the last person I ever wanted to become. But we both want the same thing, don’t we? We want to help people. You do it your own way, with your brother. The rebels. I’m not going to stop you—not like you would listen anyway.
I’ll find a way with the guards. It’s better to have someone on each side, is it not? We are still a group, the four of us. I’ll take whatever damn punishment I’ll get for sharing what I’ve learnt. My loyalties don’t lie with the guards. Have more faith in me, Rona Loran.