Rona’s General Thoughts
I promised, I made a promise. Another promise. I might drown in them. What if I cannot handle the burden of it either? Keeping strong and watching the person I love throw himself into his own demise because he is too good to see that he is someone. So small he is nothing. The truth is he is so much, and the one who is not is me. I am not strong, not right now. I brought great pain. I took a city’s hero, a boy’s mother, a husband’s wife.
I cannot be responsible again. I have to do anything I can to prevent a man from losing his brother because of the one thing I am selfish enough to hold onto. I will do anything in my power to prevent it, even if it means I have to be someone I do not want to be. I will never forgive myself for what I have done, to be walking on this earth when I know someone else cannot because of me. I am a hypocrite, I know I am, but I have these promises to keep. I am so done with this task.
Why is it becoming an impossible obstacle? They count on me, they are counting on you, Rona, you cannot be weak. Not yet, not now. Cry if you have to, but get it together. No, no tears, not here, not with them. I cannot. They do not know how to handle it, they do not know what I need, because I do not know. When I was alone, drank away my loneliness, and danced and partied through the taverns… god, how much I miss that.
Even if I am not proud of myself. I was a thief, a cheap entertainer, but I was free, right? Friends are heavy on my shoulders. But it is better than being alone. Alone I cannot escape the regret. Wail about my pain in a shanty. I should sing again. Nobody asks questions about the meaning of a story in a catchy song.
Rona’s Thoughts on the group
Adam/Tarvo
Your honesty is very refreshing, Adam. I am glad to know that you have the truth on your tongue, even if I am not happy you were around Faust by yourself. You told us, you revealed something I am sure Florien would have kept to himself, and I am glad the truth is out.
You are truly a friend, and I cannot believe how different you seem. You are really trying to be a better person. I do not think I am fully aware of what kind of person you truly are, but it goes to show you are far more than a noble-born son. Whatever Faust wants from you, we can help you with that, I am sure. I will not stop you, as you said you will not stop us.
Part of me is worried though. Overthrowing a kingdom… big words, Adam. You are no little boy, but that is nothing you can do alone. And I do not want Waterdeep being ruled by a man who is not quite cut out for it yet. Do not be a king yet, Adam. Be you. I am sure you have not had much time for that yet. Perhaps we should try to show you more of the good and positive things in the world rather than what you see of us right now.
Even if we do not agree on everything, I take your thoughts to heart and I care. Silently, I do not want to overwhelm you.
Florien
Dear Faust, hey, since you seem to be the only fucking thing that is existent in this damn city. Your bloody name is in every corner, in every detached limb, in screams and demises of others. Fuck you. Fuck you. Sincerely, fuck you.
I cannot believe you have done it. The one thing he dreaded since we talked about going to Waterdeep to help me find my family has caught up to him and done exactly to him what he was so worried about, and you know what the best part of it all is? It is my fault. It is my fucking fault he is here, that he is becoming you, that he has the impression that the only thing that makes him worth something, makes him strong enough and capable to, again, help me. He becomes you again.
What is wrong with you? Why are you such a little man that you have to break the one good soul that this shithole has ever produced? I would thank his mother for him but I do not think he is her achievement either. He became the kind of man he is purely out of what he chose to be, what he fought for, and now he is throwing it all away.
And for WHAT? For what exactly is he doing it? For a peasant little human like me. I am not worth all that. I do not want it, please take away this burden from me. To have his soul in my hands… Faust, I do not want it. I am scared, I cannot hold it. It is too bright, too good, and I cannot be responsible for it, I just cannot.
This city, your family needs him, and I just want him to be happy, to be wanted the way he is. I am so angry at him, I want to scream into his face, shake him, do anything for him to not do it. Please, Florien… please do not do it, I am begging you, please. What do I need to do to stop you? I will do it. I will stop you, I will become the worst nightmare for you if I have to. Faust will not take you away from me, you hear me.
This demon, why are you doing this to him? Why?
Kerrick
I do not care if you are a Dragon Slayer, Kerrick, you are a parent without a doubt, a caring man who sacrifices his life out of devotion to the one he loves, but I am wondering if perhaps that is what slowly kills you. The fact you underwent this augmentation that is supposed to make you stronger, with these horrible side effects, in order to avenge Gwendolyn… you could have died so easily.
You remind me of him, you know. He is doing the same, for me… and I am here, I can still stop him. But Gwendolyn is not here, she left you as much as she left Adam. I do not blame her, I do not know her reasons or what situation she is in, but it seems to me that she brought great pain to two men I care for, and I cannot help but think it might be better if we were to finally find out if she is even worth searching for anymore.
I think out of us all, Adam is the most conscious and reasonable person in our group. He seems to be the only one who is not blindly throwing himself into danger and probably bad choices. His bad manners seem nothing compared to what we do. It must be hard for him to have to be the only one who is not throwing himself onto a blade or whatever else we walk into blindly.
It must cause him great pain to see us do that, especially you, Kerrick. He is always there to see what you give up for him, for Gwendolyn. Are you not tired, Kerrick? Are you not tired of having nothing for yourself… I know I am tired.
Rona’s Thoughts on specific NPCs
Tyr
I can see the appeal you have on Florien, building up his weary heart with your kind words. Though I am not sure I can say the same thing for myself. I thought such confessions were supposed to make one feel lighter. Though I admit, I have not gotten to confess anything to you yet… perhaps another time. But I cannot deny, you reminded me why I am doing what I am doing. Why I push myself beyond my limits, why I put everyone else first. Even if you would not approve of it. I am doing it for her… I am doing it for the one person who had the kindest heart of them all and the strongest one when I needed it the most. She supported me when nobody else has. When I was left to think I was too weak, she gave me my power. And I am here to live on what she stood for: protect, encourage, and give absolutely everything I have to give.
You say I may burn out from it. But my mother did not. She did not burn out; she died because I was weak. She was relying on me to be stronger, and see where it got her? You really think I will let such a thing happen again? No. Not as long as I burn, I will carry it. I am sorry. I might break my promise to you, Tyr, but I assure you, I can do something good, something my mother would be proud of. She gave heart and sword for the people; why should not I do the same? Sure, maybe I was in pain when she died, maybe my brother too, my father… but it is okay when it is for the greater good, right?
I can make this life my mother protected worth something, give it meaning. I can do something that makes her sacrifice worth it. The people will smile when they have food and medicine, and Florien will have one less reason to hide who he is. And what I want? You know what I dream of, Tyr? To see the children laugh again, to see people carefree and not think of the disturbing things that come from this battle, this war. I wish I could stand in the middle of the streets of Lower Waterdeep again and dance, sing again, and see people happy, fed, and healthy. Full of life and love. And perhaps I can even dream of two sides getting along with each other. And maybe that I do not stand there alone. But I will not be greedy.