Rona’s General Thoughts
I can’t comprehend it, how I was suddenly reunited with my family. Though it wasn’t really a reunion, more of a coincidence. It should have felt good to see Yasin again, or maybe even made me happy, but instead it felt like a weight was placed on my shoulders. I wasn’t expecting to be thrown into it like this. I had always imagined that once I saw them again, I would be able to tell them about the hell I’ve been through, the hell they left me behind to face. But now I fear this is neither the place nor the time to put that on them. Maybe it never will be.
Father will die soon and Yasin has things to take care of that are more important than a little girl’s trauma. I had always believed it would help me to stay strong, knowing that one day I could tell someone I knew would care. What was I thinking? Father wouldn’t care regardless of whether he was awake or not, and Yasin… he doesn’t know me. How could he understand?
I’m selfish to even think of these things, knowing they know what it felt like to be caged and treated like a worthless piece of meat. He doesn’t need to know my pain. Nobody does. I will keep it to myself. He was right… what have I done for the people? Nothing. My father was right to resent me. I have always been selfish, rushing from tavern to tavern. Maybe I brought joy to people, but they did the real work. They protected the village at sea, fought and ensured we were fed and alive. Mother was a fearless guard. And me… the Loran’s disappointment.
I don’t deserve friends like the ones I have, so brave and strong, always trying to protect me from my own mistakes. But I do think I am doing the right thing now. Going on this journey. If anything should happen to me on this mission, then I don’t deserve to be here in the first place. It is time to prove myself. Time to show that I can be strong too, and actually make a difference.
Rona’s Thoughts on the group
Kerrick
Kerrick, I have no idea what you might think of me right now, but I know you do not resent me. Even if I make choices you do not approve of, you understand that I have to do what I believe is right. Your respect and trust in my choices mean so much to me. Thank you for not stopping me, even when you would rather I stay safe.
I am sorry for going against the group and doing something probably foolish, but I will return. I will help and support you too. Adam is right; I did not care enough about what matters to you and to him, and you both have to find Gwendolyn. I promise I will keep my eyes and ears open for any information I might find on my journey until we meet again. I owe you that much.
But Kerrick, please, do not stand with the nobles in this city. Please do not stand against my brother. They are trying to do good. Please see that. Please, do not fight the rebels. Focus on Gwendolyn and avoid the rest. That is the best you can do.
Florien
Florien, your girl is fucking everything up big time. Who would have thought that this peaceful moment between us would end so fast? In one moment I leaned against your shoulder and watched the sunset with you, imagining doing that every night was possible. Now I’m just sitting here writing, feeling the coldness of being alone again. I wonder if I’ll ever get the chance to feel your head on mine, or your sweet voice calling me your girl again.
Worst of all, I have no idea where this path will lead us. I want to hope that everything will go smoothly, that I can sneak my way to the supplies unnoticed and bring them back safely to those who need them more than the nobles in this city who have no care for the people who fight every day to stay alive. I mean, you haven’t got to see my skills yet. I assure you, my abilities to disguise myself and turn invisible are going to make me succeed in this mission with flying colors. Getting the supplies for Yasin and the rebels will be easy.
What actually worries me is, what if something happens to you and the others while I am gone? I promised I would stay alive, but I deeply wish I would have made you promise the same. I am glad, though, that you chose to leave on your own behalf and not mine, even if parting ways pains me. It surely is for the best if you stay as far away from the rebels as possible.
Though I hate how strongly your existence is denied here. It is like you said: you seem to have never existed in their eyes or memories, only Faust. And the whole rebel group is convinced that you are him. I think, even if he were to die, that it would not change the way they look at you, isn’t that so?
Florien, you said I was kind before we parted, but you were there too. You saw how I hurt Adam and, through his eyes, I know I hurt Tarvo too with my sharp words, the lack of understanding for them. I am probably becoming part of that very group that attacked people, killed people in a fruitless attempt to assert dominance and strength. And I was so selfish to make you follow me into this mess. You would not be here enduring all this pain and dying if it were not for me. Everything that you experience right now is my fault.
I am not a good person, I’m not kind. I am but just a selfish little girl that believes she could make a change by running headfirst into the next danger. And you, so loyal and sweet, are always on my side because I made you to be. I can’t deny how good it felt to feel your eyes on me and see someone worthy of your affection. But the truth is, you are the kind one of us both, Florien. You are too good of a man to deserve all these cruel things said about you. They are not true. I hope you never believe otherwise. None of what the people said about you is true! No matter how many times they would ask me, I stand behind that with my life.
You have my word: I will stay alive, and I will try not to do anything I do not truly want to do. I know everyone is thinking I am sacrificing myself, but what I want… no… need you to understand is… that this is what I want to do. There is no coercion here. I cannot be stopped on my path, and you will learn more and more, my dear Florien, that I am the most stubborn woman you have ever met, one that gets her way, even if I have to do it by myself. And as the woman I am, I will stubbornly finish this job and make my way back to you. YEAH! I am determined! I will make you blush again, my silly pretty boy. Just you wait and see. I am such an asshole, I know, not staying away from you even if I should. Fuck it, it is okay to be a little selfish, right?! I mean, you said it yourself, I can hear it in my head right now: “Rona, what do you want?” I want to return back to my friends, to you, Adam, and Kerrick. And I will show you all how much you mean to me. Soon. I promise.
Adam/Tarvo
You must be so disappointed in me right now. I saw it on your face. I don’t like us fighting, but ugh… you’re so stubborn sometimes. It’s infuriating and I do believe you have so much to learn, so, so much more. It’s becoming more obvious that you are mentally more a child than I was aware of. I mean, the fact that you don’t even consider the needs of anyone else. I know you’re not cruel, but where has Tarvo’s compassion gone?
I think you do have it. I know you do. You apologized to me when you knew you hurt my feelings before. You just need to learn things, and I might have to be more patient with you. I think I struggle with my patience momentarily. I think I have not been very compassionate with you either. This life just doesn’t offer enough time to teach and learn it with you right now, but I also want you to grow into a man who can be compassionate and make the right choices.
If you rule over people, there is more to consider than one side. I can’t expect you to follow along with the rebels. What happened was wrong, and you are rightfully judgmental toward it, but there are more sides to a coin than just one. I think there are certain cruelties in this world you are not aware of. I know you’ve been through a lot; you’ve been alone, behind Tarvo’s eyes for so long. But that also means you don’t know how the world works and how choices… especially choices you make, what impact they can have.
Meet people on eye level. Listen to them. Listen to both sides and judge them then. I really wanted to trust the guards, but after what I saw in the past days, it’s clear to me who is cruel and who is trying to do the right thing. I don’t want the guards to die either. I just want them to stop killing rebels. I want the killing to stop, Adam.
It’s so hard to talk to you when you are so easily angered, and I think I understand why. You must be running thin, waiting every day for your search to continue and find your mother. I am so caught up in everything that I have not taken a moment to think of how you must feel with every passing day not finding her. I wanted to find my brother so badly, and if I could see my mother again, I would give everything to do so.
I am selfish. You came to Waterdeep to find your mother, and I’ve done nothing to help. I am afraid. I always have to think of this little girl who wants to join the fight, who is willing to give her life to fight in this conflict. Many children are, and I just don’t want that to happen. They should have a childhood that we never got to have. I’m no hero, but I can support those who are… or at least those who actually can change things for the better.
I hate fighting with you. I hate that we are separating. And I hate that I leave you. I’m sorry. I really wish I could get out of my head and be the Rona you saw in me. It hurts me, seeing the respect you had for me leaving your eyes. Yet you care about me so much. I know you desperately tried for me to stay. You tried so, so hard, and with every word you said I was feeling how much you cared.
I hate feeling like I am ripping something away from you again. Oh God, I didn’t… I didn’t think how much this could hurt you. You were left as a kid, and now I am leaving you too. And I broke my promise too, with leaving Florien. Oh God. I’m a monster…
Rona’s Thoughts on specific NPCs
R.A.T.I
The voice of this thing is scary as hell, I hope I don’t have to interact with it again, that thing sends a cold shiver down my spine.
Willow
You are quite something, a hell of a woman. I have no clue where you come from and what you have been through, but I knew there was something special about you, something that was not evil. You may have your aggressions toward Florien. Now that I know why, I understand it. Promised to a mass murderer, that is some story people would open their mouths wide in shock for.
You are the second in command of the rebels and close to my brother like a sister, like the sister that I was supposed to be. You and he seem so bonded together. You trust him with your life; I can sense it in the way you interact with each other. You have been through hell and back, I am sure. No family but him. Protecting all these people. You have all my respect, deeply and truthfully.
I do not know what Faust has done to you, but I can see the scars it left on your soul. I apologize for putting you through this again by seeing him, by seeing the face of the person that caused you deep pain. It does not make a difference if it is him or not. You suffer regardless. You bite back hard, not letting those past things make you weak but strong.
I do not hope to see you and Florien get into a fight in the future. Save your energy for the man who truly deserves your fury. You and I can become great allies. I want to learn more about you, if I am allowed that close. I think there is great power behind you, and we have just seen a glimpse of what you are capable of. Deceiving us and drugging us was quite the game, but easily avoidable if we were not so naïve.
Between you and me, I predicted as much. Next time I hope you and I can taste a proper drink together and chat without being tied up on a chair. It takes way less to loosen my tongue than a rope and bad wine with the right company. I vow to you, I will knock some sense into Faust when I see him, for you and for Florien.
Yasin
Little brother, what a sight. I have been chasing after you since Mere. Somehow I was almost expecting not to be able to find you. You always had a way to just slip out of others’ hands. Always a step ahead. You were always the smarter one from us both. I cannot say I was relieved that my worries were right, meeting you confirming my worst nightmares.
I cannot believe it has been you behind the attack that killed people, people I met just a day prior. Even if I did not know them, you kill? How little of Mother is inside you, that you value life so little? I wish my empathy would get the better of me and make me understand that you do seem to have no other choice. I know my friends judge me for it, for helping, caring, understanding. A leader has to make hard choices, just Yasin, not such brutal ones.
Maybe I need to stick to your side. I want to. I need to make sure you do not make worse decisions because you are desperate and you do not see another way. There is always another way to solve things. It does not have to lead to death. What example do you want to set to the next generation, brother? If you are really that older, wiser version of yourself, then I ask you to think ahead. Think about the future.
I will gladly help you aid and care for the people, but I will not support violence. You spoke about what you would do to Faust if you were to meet him. I understand it. You feel connected to Willow, and you know more about Faust’s gruesome deeds I have not experienced yet. The more I learn about them, the more I grow to think that he needs to be stopped faster. I am going to help you with that too if necessary, but I am not sure I can let you kill him. After all, I think that choice should be made by Florien.
I am sorry for the pain that may come with seeing Florien, the face so similar to the one that brought so much hurt to your lives. He means so much to me. Please, if anything, just avoid him if you have to. We should hold on to people that bring us hope, don’t you agree? Just like you have Willow now. I am glad you found a replacement. Someone good for you. Maybe she is the reason you did not lose your humanity. Alone with Father, I am sure you would have.
I understand you think highly of Father. He must have taken care of you well after all. I barely even know who this man is. He means little to me, but I respect the work he has done, the things he built for you and the people to be safe, even if his motives might be questionable. I believe he showed you the wrong way to handle this, and I will help you to find a better way, starting with gaining your trust and helping to protect this community you care for.
Yosef Loran
Who would have known the great Yosef Loran became a vegetable, lying weak and dying in a bed he made himself. How ironic. You never liked metaphors or basically anything I had to ever say, but here you are, unable to move, to speak, to hurt. I bet you will not even recognize me anymore. After all, you never saw me truly anyway.
Aren’t we glad that you have a disease that cannot be cured. You would have made it Yasin’s great task to save you probably for “the greater good.” I am sure you helped the people because it felt so damn good to have people depend on you. It is a surprise to me how you managed to make Yasin become so selfless and caring, though he is a hothead just like you. I wish he would not be like that, willing to walk over corpses to reach his goal.
I bet you are so fucking proud of him right now. I would not be surprised if you were the one who planted the idea with the bomb attack into his head. I do understand his disparity. Things have been hard for you and him since Mother died. Neither of you had time to mourn her death either. I assure you, I paid tribute to her on any occasion I had.
I will not lie, I do not feel much when I see you lying there, but I do not wish for your death. I would not want you in my life either, not that you would care about it. I am doing just fine. I never needed your guidance or for you to teach me anything. I turned out a decent person because of Mother and Mother alone. You did nothing, and now you are just wasting away.
Shit… yeah, I hope it is a painless death for you. None of our people deserved to be treated like that, to be denied aid after being caged and treated worse than animals. I will do what I can to help and protect them too. Not for you. For them. If it makes you rest in peace to know they are safe, then know that Yasin and I will work together to ensure it.
Farewell.